Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
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