Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
