Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
