Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Boobs are out for the taking
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
