somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Can I color on your dick again?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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