wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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