He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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