Sry I called you an 8
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
sex in a hospital.. check
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
