i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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