I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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