i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
whose ass print is on the piano?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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