id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
