imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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