Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize