hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
