im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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