Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
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Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
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Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.