There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
bring money and cleavage
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
