Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.