we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.