The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
