i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
