we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
