somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
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i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
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Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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