I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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