he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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