Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
