There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
