I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
