I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
