So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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