I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
