i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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