oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
