Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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