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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"

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• (407): View more from Florida

  this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.

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• (310): View more from California

  i fucked a milf yesterday.

  (619): View more from California

  i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.

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  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (949): View more from California

  he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  no. you cant fuck a burger.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Make me a sandwich

  (301): View more from Maryland

  The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same

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  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"

  (406): View more from Montana

  Midwestern nice.

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• (607): View more from New York

  You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you

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• (903): View more from Texas

  The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.

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