Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(613): View more from Ontario

Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww

(1-613): View more from Ontario

no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call

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(801): View more from Utah

Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.

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(+61): View more from Australia

THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(224): View more from Illinois

At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk

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(214): View more from Texas

How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

and their significant others

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I think you're overestimating how drunk I was

(1-501): View more from Arkansas

You said your pillow felt like the ocean...

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