I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?