New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
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Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
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Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.