Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother

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  (401): we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother http://tfl.nu/h33i
  Replies (2) Good night (1733) Bad night (1247)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

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  (314): So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present. http://tfl.nu/xf6g
  Replies (792) Good night (7905) Bad night (111393)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.

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  (319): Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know. http://tfl.nu/c989
  Replies (12) Good night (909) Bad night (3788)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"

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  (413): i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way" http://tfl.nu/86gt
  Replies (36) Good night (16434) Bad night (1393)
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  (707): View more from California

  I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..

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  (707): I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution.. http://tfl.nu/dcg9
  Replies (18) Good night (4539) Bad night (1499)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.

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  (214): I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility. http://tfl.nu/f4a3
  Replies (12) Good night (908) Bad night (2827)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.

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  (314): Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there. http://tfl.nu/fiix
  Replies (6) Good night (1316) Bad night (1342)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth

  (1-870): View more from Arkansas

  I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come

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  (870): Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth (1-870): I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come http://tfl.nu/shj4
  Replies (5) Good night (1868) Bad night (715)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy

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  (541): Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy http://tfl.nu/st7t
  Replies (7) Good night (1535) Bad night (501)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts

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  (281): I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts http://tfl.nu/b2dg
  Replies (1) Good night (924) Bad night (776)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell

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  (215): There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell http://tfl.nu/i2t1
  Replies (10) Good night (1932) Bad night (836)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.

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  (719): I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room. http://tfl.nu/d9w2
  Replies (6) Good night (1828) Bad night (392)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you

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  (425): I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you http://tfl.nu/h4jv
  Replies (1) Good night (639) Bad night (329)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.

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  (732): I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened. http://tfl.nu/b4bs
  Replies (2) Good night (438) Bad night (324)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.

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  (775): I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice. http://tfl.nu/qaps
  Replies (1) Good night (919) Bad night (272)

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