Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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