Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.

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  (402): Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you. http://tfl.nu/55t9
  Replies (34) Good night (3320) Bad night (830)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again

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  (814): I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again http://tfl.nu/580i
  Replies (12) Good night (3076) Bad night (813)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants

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  (810): i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants http://tfl.nu/brg7
  Replies (48) Good night (5704) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Please get laid.

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  (919): I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot. (1-919): Please get laid. http://tfl.nu/xffk
  Replies (37) Good night (1868) Bad night (5819)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.

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  (425): Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away. http://tfl.nu/ldh5
  Replies (6) Good night (3820) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?

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  (804): Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night? http://tfl.nu/x7lh
  Replies (7) Good night (5069) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.

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  (516): The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone. http://tfl.nu/jz14
  Replies (19) Good night (3680) Bad night (1469)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.

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  (406): You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it. http://tfl.nu/4hyg
  Replies (9) Good night (1162) Bad night (2627)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.

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  (616): I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US (+44): Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange. http://tfl.nu/699w
  Replies (2) Good night (2053) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.

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  (814): Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate. http://tfl.nu/j5ej
  Replies (10) Good night (1689) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.

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  (615): Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often. http://tfl.nu/4yb3
  Replies (9) Good night (2550) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...

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  (916): I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed... http://tfl.nu/imcz
  Replies (0) Good night (573) Bad night (180)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.

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  (970): Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome. http://tfl.nu/0viv
  Replies (7) Good night (679) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Won't she run out of nose eventually?

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  (254): She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually? (512): Won't she run out of nose eventually? http://tfl.nu/f0dc
  Replies (3) Good night (446) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle

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  (512): I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle http://tfl.nu/8dq3
  Replies (0) Good night (382) Bad night (165)

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