what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
