barbara walters just said penis...
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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