A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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