office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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