I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm like the big dick whisperer.