The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
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I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
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not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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