Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.

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  (805): Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me. http://tfl.nu/gsfp
  Replies (18) Good night (1180) Bad night (660)
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  (650): View more from California

  Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite

  (650): View more from California

  Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good

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  (650): Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite (650): Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good http://tfl.nu/6hx1
  Replies (7) Good night (586) Bad night (885)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.

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  (989): I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/vt43
  Replies (16) Good night (4643) Bad night (787)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.

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  (614): just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good. http://tfl.nu/28dw
  Replies (16) Good night (5192) Bad night (1371)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.

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  (514): You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook. http://tfl.nu/dlrh
  Replies (8) Good night (4990) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  please dont tell anyone i was drunk

  (1-607): View more from New York

  you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know

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  (607): please dont tell anyone i was drunk (1-607): you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know http://tfl.nu/3807
  Replies (12) Good night (1305) Bad night (4455)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.

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  (406): he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me. http://tfl.nu/3m0w
  Replies (20) Good night (1622) Bad night (6878)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.

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  (210): I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast. http://tfl.nu/qvgk
  Replies (143) Good night (2472) Bad night (50815)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"

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  (512): he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls" http://tfl.nu/sggu
  Replies (6) Good night (1321) Bad night (3939)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.

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  (203): Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast. http://tfl.nu/5wgc
  Replies (45) Good night (7658) Bad night (1179)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.

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  (816): My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest. http://tfl.nu/ifrd
  Replies (8) Good night (363) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.

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  (989): No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to. http://tfl.nu/2okj
  Replies (2) Good night (519) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand

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  (775): He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand http://tfl.nu/fp7g
  Replies (2) Good night (812) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for

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  (262): It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for http://tfl.nu/8tbr
  Replies (6) Good night (385) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?

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  (989): Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/3xdi
  Replies (0) Good night (531) Bad night (275)

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