were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
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mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
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The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend