Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two

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(315): were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two http://tfl.nu/ite6

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it

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(401): My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it http://tfl.nu/ym1h

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(410): View more from Maryland

new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.

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(410): new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle. http://tfl.nu/lcrv

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(973): View more from New Jersey

What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day

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(973): What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day http://tfl.nu/bp9q

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.

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(405): You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class. http://tfl.nu/7p98

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.

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(403): Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes. http://tfl.nu/co11

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(716): View more from New York

Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases

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(716): Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases http://tfl.nu/lpic

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(380): View more from Ohio

She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time

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(380): She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time http://tfl.nu/cp8c

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(515): View more from Iowa

I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!

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(515): I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th! http://tfl.nu/5xz8

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.

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(724): Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression. http://tfl.nu/uaau

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(315): View more from New York

Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.

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(315): Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline. http://tfl.nu/p7f8

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(503): View more from Oregon

How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?

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(503): How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor? http://tfl.nu/eg7j

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.

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(717): We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes. http://tfl.nu/zq4p

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.

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(617): Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present. http://tfl.nu/s10t

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(702): View more from Nevada

Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!

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(702): Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one! http://tfl.nu/ayyz

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