i can't believe i had my finger in that
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
someone owes me an orgasm
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
