I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
