when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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