We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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