see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Panties = found
Randomize
