I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
