that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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