This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
