And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize