well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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