I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
