dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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