hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
