so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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