you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
