i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
