All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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