I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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