I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
