do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
did i walk over a car last night?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Pants are for mortals
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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