Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
