id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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