Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
