That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
